The fat man started at the North Pole and flew directly to Japan where he was pelted with rice cakes. Then it was on to Melbourne where no one actually noticed. So Santa stopped off a a pub and downed a few gallons of "good cheer". Next stop was North Korea where he was fired on by Russian built MIG 15 fighters. And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight... F**k this place!
Next he landed in India where 11 sacred cows wandering the streets of Delhi attached his Raindeer and attempted to rape them. Santa escaped but lost Princer in the melee.
Iran was even worse. The AAA and SAM missises were thick as fleas on an Obama kid, so it was on to Iraq where he was pelted with rock by Muslims carrying signs reading "YANKEE GO HOME!"
Italy can't be that bad, Santa told himself. It was. The Pope Excommunicated him the moment he landed. So he took off for England where he cried in his beer at a pub before accompanying a young lady the a house of ill repute. Santa was seen leaving some hours later but he seems to have lost his pants.
Finally he landed in New York where he was given a ticket for illegal parking, taxed for just about everything and told he could only buy 8 oz soft drinks because he could get fat.
And so it goes...
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