The expected text of Obama's speech on Tuesday
My fellow Americans - most of whom are black and voted for me, I got a phone call from the Governor of Lousiana who told me there was an oil leak in the Gulf. Let me point out, I take this very seriously. We cannot have oil leaking into the Gulf of Tonkin. The Vietnamese... (voice whispered off camera)... Oh... um... Yes. We cannot have oil leading into the Persian Gulf. This could be a catistrophic.. (voice whispered off camera)... umm.. what I meant to say... Umm.. Just Gulf... that's good enough... you can figure it out.
Now those slimy British who run Exxon or Phillips or one of those oil Companies that have caused this disaster need to step up to the plate and do what I've done - raise taxes. (Voice whispering off camera) Oh but I want to assure our friends and close allies in England that we don't blame any of this mess on you. It was entirely those bastards in Britain who did it...
PLEASE STANDY BY WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
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